Love Story.

2010-09-01T04:08:00.000-07:00

Well, it's already September and there's no changes.
It's always the same, same old sad stories. What more can it be? Worse.
Yes, I've been humiliated by someone. It's a sad thing that he did such things to me.
But, more saddening is that, he doesn't feel any shame at all for his age to react like that.
I'm not saying that I'm right nor he is wrong but, this is too much.
This is too immature to be entertain. For some people, I think it would be over limit for them.
No more patience, No more mercy.
This shit has to be stop. I can't continue being this way.
I deserve better things in life. This is not what I prayed for every night.
I was suppose to live my life to the fullest. Whatever they say about me, I promise it wouldn't make or break me. I wasn't born to live this way. And, I wasn't born to be in this kind of state. What I want is happiness and laughters. This isn't my path of life.
I just can't accept this things. It's not meant for me, I know it isn't.
I just want to know that this is not too good to be true.

2010-08-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

Dear, Bloggy.

I find myself pretty good today. Everyone's in good mood including myself.

But, the situation is still the same, I'm the wall. Yes, no changes. It's not a big deal, anyway.

I'm used to all this shit. Sigh, I miss papa a lot. I have never been this distance before with him.

I can't meet neither call him, only god knows why. But in the afternoon today, I get the chance

to meet Syai when I went to the shop for awhile. We had a long talk and some break-downs.

I'm glad you heard me, I'm happy that you can feel me. I guess, this situation just got to stop.

But, I'm waiting for the right time. One word, "Hope."

Love, Feeza.

2010-08-15T03:43:00.000-07:00

Dear, Dead blog.

Well, I know it's been so long but, I only got the time now to sneak.

My life now is being supervised and controlled. Yes, not like the old Feeza anymore.

Only god knows how I feel not anyone. No one can never understand me.

I thought life would be much better once I moved and shift. But no, it's just worst.

I'm mentally sad, sorrow. Never fail to put on a fake smile. Why? Why must

my path of life be like this? I need someone to share but, not even my parents.

I'm all alone like for the past 15 years. Like an abandoned child, lost.

I don't know what's my fault but, everything I do never seems enough to everyone in the house.

Although I'm staying in one roof with My Family, I'm feeling assive I'm no one to anyone.

Like an outsider, stranger. I need to please everyone but, in the end what I get?

Only crying to myself in the bedroom of silence alone.

But, I thank God that I can be patient and strong to overcome this situation during this fasting month. Maybe, this is just a test. For what I know, I always believe that I deserve better things in life. But now, I just wish that mama knows how I feel being in this house with.

Time's up, blog some other time.

Love, Feeza.

2010-07-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, first of all. Ignore my face, it's not needed. I know.

Hehe. ^^

Anyway, after so long I didn't meet my babes, we decided to meet today.

Only god knows how much I miss them. For four years! And still, at last we met.

Everything change from appearance till attitudes. As in, great attitudes.
They're getting prettier and my laughing gas. Very kechoh now, I likeee.

I miss them already, how? :'( Must meet next week.

I miss you both. :C

Anyway, met mama and abang at 9pm.

Off to where? JB again, eateateat. Haish, I stuff too much food inside my beautiful tummy.

Now, I'm jus waiting for time for it to explode. Alright, fake.

Just reach home, and time check it's 4am.

Still not sleepy and not in a mood to chat. So bored, and lazyyy.

There's also one thing stuck in my mind,

if you don't trust that person, what would you do if you're already 8 months in a r/s?

My answer to you is, gain the trust or just seperate.

That's a choice. :)

2010-07-06T05:58:00.000-07:00

Meet my sweet Naren.

Aww, such a sweetheart to advice me but, not good enough to brain wash me.

Keke, he told me to quit smoking if not, I'll become ugly when I got cancer.

My boyfr will leave me for that. It's not worth it to smoke.

Haha, but Naren, guess what? Not now! :P

It's cute to have such gundu friends like him.

Naren the anti-smoker. Don't anti me uh. :'(

Hahaha! :D

Oh yea, N-level English oral was pretty okay.

But, my tounge got tied and it's hard for me to speak up. Maybe, nervous.

But, so far I did my best. :)

2010-07-05T11:44:00.000-07:00

Why? Why? Why?

Why are you doing this to me?

The more I hate you, the more I miss you. Is that how it goes?

I'm pissed after you treated me "indirectly" that way. Do know how it feels?

It feels that I'm not anyone important to you. Fuck you, such a faker.

Don't tell me what I do, ask yourself. Why can't I talk to R since you talk to M?

Don't show me that fuck face. Don't tell me indirectly.

Don't like it, tell me. Don't tell M instead.

You can tell me straight right at my face than, telling M. You think it's fun?

Ok, suit yourself. Have it your way. Cause, I'm sick and tired thinking about you.

Such a waste of time on you. I'm regret! Regret of falling for you!

Don't tell me crap and sorries cause y'know why, they're bullshits.

Ok, fuckyou fuckyou fuckyou.

_l_

2010-07-03T05:49:00.000-07:00

" Drink, Drunk & Drama. "

Won't elaborate on what happen. But, it's not meant to be my day.

But thanks to the ones who cared for me, and I appreciate the hug O.

2010-07-02T22:53:00.000-07:00

"Life is full of fake people."

And, I hope you're not one of them.

Someday, you will know what's right and wrong. I won't be there beside you forever.

But, if you want to talk, I don't mind. I'm glad that I've been meeting R. We story-tell

a lot and we did a lot of catch up. And, I hope who won't do whatever shit to girls again.

I'll always be here if you want to talk. What are friends for right?

Fuck the past, kiss the future.

You're the future that I've been hoping to walk with together.

Goodnight, people.

2010-07-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

" It's okay not to be okay. "

Cause, i'm use to it already.

Well, someone send me home today. I'm confuse eversince he's "being nice" to me.

Very confuse. But, I don't think he's taking it seriously. Or I guess, he thought

between me and him are just flings. I couldn't blame him for that because, he's friends

with all my ex lovers. But, for me he's different. And, I don't think he see that.

So, whatever.

This Sunday, there will be Street Lovers gathering.

Should drink or not? Hmms,

Hope no rain, no fights and quarrels.

Q: What would you do if you dreamt about your ex? He's assive in pain.

Would you text him or not? It's making me worried. :'(

At the same time, I don't want him to think differently. So how?

2010-06-28T09:53:00.000-07:00

" The time will never heal my scars. "

Time-check: 1am.

And I have only 5 more hours to sleep which I'm not able to do it now.

As I'm not sleepy. Damn it, I'm still in no mood to go to school. Snap it, this year is N-level.

Pravin is going to kill me if he knows that I'm blogging at this time. He's going to

school with me. And, will be waking me up before he reaches to my place. Such a sweetheart,
having a friend to drag me to school. Well, I cannot paitao him again. Cause, last semester

I've paitao him a couple of times. And, he's mad. But, for a lil while. Heh.

Oh ya! England, what happen? Upset seh.

I watched soccer half way, just walk off and don't bother.

But, Germany was fast tough. Got a couple of hot players. Heh.

Nehh, Portugal & Brazil is still the best. :)

Anyway, I just got home from 'Jemputan.' Seriously, my legs are killing me.

With those heels, I can die. But what to do, mama told me to use it. Look more feminine. -,-

Fight with mama for while just about the heels. Ridiculous, I know.

And, I saw someone unexpected there, Ikhsan. I miss him so much until, I forget

about everyone there and hug him. He was shock tough. Mane tidak, ternampak die terus peluk.

Hah, feeza feeza. Then, we talk for awhile and bid goodbyes.

I guess that's enough for today, I'm tired. The gate of hell is open tomorrow.

Erghh, goodnight. :)

or should i say, goodmorning ?..

2010-06-25T03:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am.

Life is so simple but, people around us are the ones who make it so hard.

Live your life with chaos around but that is how, you learn.

Scream yourself, scream your pain.

I live today but, maybe not tomorrow. Treasure everyday because, life is only once.

Once everything has end meaning you're dead too.

2010-06-24T02:00:00.000-07:00

" You're getting chubby. Chubs Chubs~ "

Hah, yesyes. I know. Tsktsk, very bad. I think, I'm gaining some weight over this June holiday.

Not, think. It's confirm. Heh. Well, it's been one week since I blog.

Nowadays, I've been at home curling up in my bed and read some books.

Yea, I know it sounds boring but, The Vampire Diaries is an addiction to me. But, I spend

my nights with mama & brother. It's bored to be alone at home sometimes.

Cause, I spend my day all alone without anyone at home. Not even Zairul. Yes, alone.

But, whenever everyone is asking me out. It's all at one shot and not at the right time. It's

hard to please everyone but, no one understands me. No one, not even my close ones.

Trying to make everyone happy and have an equal share, it's tough for me. I'm the only

one who got to hear everyone's problem here and there. But, they never hear mine.

The other side is family while the other is friend. Why must I taste their burden?

Why must I help them? Why must I please them? Why don't everyone appreciate what I've done? Why must they throw tantrum on me? Why if it's not my fault, I just say "Yes, I'm sorry. It's my fault."? Why must my life be this way? Why must I be patient when I can't control?"

Why? Why? Why? But, I know there will always be an ending to every sorrow stories.

I'm just hoping everyone around me can see how much I go through. I'm not asking much.

I just want them to be independent and think before they act. Because, things may go out of

hand when they're not well plan. Like my life now. Hmm, maybe I worry too much about little things. I know god is always there for me. :>

I would give up my happiness just to see you smile. I love all of you. :')

2010-06-17T11:48:00.000-07:00

The one that I need to cry out loud with is my, Girlfriends.

Seriously, I miss you bitches.

Well, plans to Jakarta has been cancel.

Sad enough to say that all plan were being cause by stupid issues.

Damn it, no more fun holiday for me. Was pissed off at first then, lucky I have people

to make me chill on that spot when mama said, "I want to tell you that, we can't make it to Jakarta." Whatever, just rot at home and die. -,-

Anyways, I've been going to JB with mama and abang lately. And, I've been karaokae.

Moods been up and down lately. Many things have been going through in my mind.

What I need is chilling together with my favourite people at Town then, I'll be fine.

Ok, "fine" is so fake. At least, better.

Things in house, getting better. Uncle is trying to talk to me but, I simply don't care.

Tawo takotttttt~ :P Hah, now I'm like so bored. And, now I type merepek. -,-

Back on track.

Zairul have been going out with his "G" clans. So, it's hard to see him at home sometime.

Always talking on the phone and left me all alone. Nevermind, I'm use to it Zairul. -,-

Three days ago, something happen. A rough day, cousin you know what you see.

Sometimes, someone unexpected can show up on an unexpected day.

But seriously, it was very scary. I hope it won't happen again. I really hope.

In the end, both companies were friends before and they're friends again.

Ok, no one knows. Lucky, that nightmare has end.

Anyway, I want to stop drinking as in, not drinking everyday like how I use to.

I feel so fucked up when I drink when I don't get tipsy. Urgh, abang says if you're use to drinking

and when you drink, you won't feel a thing anymore. Because, you're blood is use to alcohol.

And so, when blood is use to it, there's no point of wasting your money to drink when you

don't feel tipsy. I want to feel tipsy not drunk! :'(

Ini info sahaje.

Now I want to sleep, tomorrow karaokae with my Idiot baby.

Nights hunny. :)

2010-06-10T14:06:00.000-07:00

"Everything Happens For A Reason."

Firstly, I'm sorry if there is no pictures in my post nowadays.

This post will just be dedications.

REGULARS;

Where have you guys been? I miss the old times. Why are we all drifting apart?

Especially with me, what's wrong with me? In school, you guys have already have your own cliques. And, I'm all left alone. I just want us to be as normal like the olden days. Don't you guys miss it? But, I'm more sad when it comes to know that David is not in Singapore. Why you never tell me? You're not being the old you. I miss you so much David. I miss the Regulars.

But, anyway. Congrats to my Girlfr, Farah Wong! She's a mother now with two kids. Which is Twins. I'm happy and proud of you to overcome this. I know you're strong and I owe your daughters, presents. I know! You just wait lah horh. :)

A. ARIF;

I'm sorry about the incident today. Harsh words just came out without any thoughts. I just

can't help it when you talk to me like that. It's assive you're making me to feel guilty. What's wrong to just to have a chat with your ex boyfr? It doesn't bring me any harm. Yes, I know that you're not in good terms with him. But, until when? You guys were close and now fighting?

I have no idea what's in both of your minds. Please, A. don't make me promise when I already choose. Promise is a big word. And, I'm sorry if I told you that I hate you. I didn't mean it.

I'm sorry. I'm v v sorry. Please understand me. :(

I just hate it when, you have forgotten about them, they all came back just to ruin one thing.

2010-05-26T16:02:00.000-07:00

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow would be a mystery.

I'm thankful that I'm still breathing Today."

Well, Feeza is back smiling again. No more crying and locking myself in the room again.

I do feel much better after all the things are over and now, papa is back home safe & sound.

Although some people at MY home are not being able to stick to their own noses, I feel

that I'm nowhere at lost and I just simply don't care. For me, if I ever backstab about you both,

I would just tell mama or papa to just kick you BOTH out from MY house. Some people just have this feeling which they could not control. Which is, jealousy. Obviously, I'm the daughter and who

the hell are you both to them or even to me? You both are not even running in the same blood as mine so, just shut up. And oh, you guys wanted me out from the house. Excuse me, who do you think you are? You thought you guys could control everything? Hell no. Yes, I may be stupid to follow what you said and get out but, I came back and will never be your dog again. Cause, what after mama said, "Why must you go out from the house? You're my daughter. That's our house which is your house. They're no one to us. They're just renting." JUST RENTING. Although mama doesn't live on the same roof with us and papa is busy with work, don't think you're the "Boss" of this house, okay? You both can keep telling mama and papa about your "lie stories." Keep going but, in the end, my parents won't even bother to listen to you both. But, keep it up. I like your perserverance. Thumbs up for you both. And one more thing, eventhough my bestfriend is a gay, he doesn't hurt your feelings. He's my bestfriend no matter what you guys want to say about him. Another good point for me, cause my parents approve with my friendship with him. It seems that you both like to play with this game well, go on. You think I would want to let my time to waste? A big NO right at your face. You guys are just a bunch of idiots. Well, I know you guys will be reading my blog. Obviously, such stalkers like you would want to text mama or papa about this blog. Tell them. Because before you do, I already did it first. You want to play this shit on me, try me. It's better if you both just up and don't bother my life. And, you won't get yourselves in too much problem. Oh yeah, I simply forget that you both are such a problematic couple. How sad? Boohoo for you.

Anyway, nice kan my blogskin. (:

I made a Twitter since I'm bored. Anyway follow me lah horh.

Nak sleep, it's been this early morning at 12am, I've been finding one skin.

And at last, at 7.30am i finished it.

Going to have breakfast with papa later and meeting mama during lunch.

Ohmy, I have a pretty stomach. :P

Bonchetttttttt~ Mane lah tak bonchet, makan je. Heh.

Stay tune, people.

2010-05-26T05:16:00.000-07:00

"I know you're always there for me. I know you've always been patient with me.

I know you will keep me smiling whatever happens. I know you will always be there for me

when I need someone. Cause, I know you're my true friend, Zairie."

Well, second post for today.

Z is quite emotional today due to some reason. I hope he's alright.

Anyway, I had a change of plan this morning. Called papa and told him that I won't be able to accompany him for breakfast since, I'm sleepy. Woke up at 12pm to have lunch with mama.

Have our lunch and chilled at a place. I'm much much better after I told mama what's happening in the house. But, what to do? She can't be staying with us any longer. Sad. :(

After chilling, mama plan of going to JB. But, I was too tired. Not enough sleep and so, I

told mama that I wanted to go home instead. Reached home, thought I could get some peace.

Rumah ako dah macam pasar sia! Pekik sane sini, hempas pintu lah, barang lah.

Prangai dua anak sundal tu lah, malnaklai! -.-

Called papa cause I was too fucked up.

Me: "Papa, rumah dah macam ape sia. Pasar perh? I tired tao nak layan tapi I nak tido!"

Papa: "You don't sleep first, later I pick you up. We go and watch movie dgn adik & mummy."

Me: "Org penat lah. Badan penat, telinge penat and mulot pon penat nak bebual."

Papa: "Tengok wayang lah. Dah lame kite tak date, jom! Hahahaha."

Me: "Funny ah? Okay lah, tapi I don't want to wait for you at home."

Papa: "Eh, takde! Tinggal rumah. Dekat rumah stakat brape jam je nak klua. Apelaaa."

Me: "Pa! If there is no one making a bloody hell of a noise, I would stay at home. Ini, takde. Prangai macam ...."

Papa: "Macam ape? I told you not to use words that are not to be meant. Are you stress?"

Me: "Yes! I AM VERY STRESS! MY KPALE MCM NAK PECAH TAWO!"

Papa: "Tsk, ok lah! You go inside my room and lock the door. Jgn kasi orang masok. Just smoke."

Me: "Pa? Ape"

Papa: "I know you stress, ghy smoke sane! Jgn klua rumah!"

Me: "Okay, I love you sangat-sangat! Bye, pa."

Papa: "Love you too. Bye."

Hiyoh. Cute kan my papa. Taknak kasi klua rumah punyerh pahsal. -.-

Heh, long post? Cause, I'm bored. Bye.

2010-05-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

Sick & tired of blogging with blogger.

Firstly, my blogskin stinks. I'm sick of looking at this dull and old skin.

Secondly, all my post have become emotional which stinks it more.

Lastly, I'm too lazy to even get emotional with my ownself about this blogger.

It's stupid!

I guess I'm closing it down for awhile.

It's better that way. Such an asshole. -.-

2010-05-23T03:29:00.000-07:00

Damn it, I know I look so chubby. :(

Well, currently at mommy's place. Slept at her house for only one night.

It was really fun as we had a catch up of our stories.

Although this few days is not a good day for me. -.-

I'm just missing papa too much. Yes, I know I'm not a good daughter for you.

If you want to hate me, it's fine with me.

But, I just want you to know that.

I love you, papa. :'(

2010-05-12T10:04:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm starting from scratch, again.

Well, this time I find myself not needing the Love Life anymore. As in, for the mean time.

What is love anyway? I don't know, I don't bother to know and I don't care.

Cause you guys want to know why? I guess my life is much more better than

having someone to be with now. Well, not till forever.

Let time tell, there's no need to rush. I just want to live my life and follow my heart.

I know what's best for me and I think people should just give me some space to enjoy my single life now. I know I wasn't this strong before.

This is a big thanks to my Mr. H.

Thank you for all your words. I appreciate it a lot.

Yes, my answer to your question is Yes, I love you. Okay?

But, change your attitude. Cause, with fame and "attitude", you won't go far.

See you soon, love.

Just another short post of Arwah Elshieq.

If you were to know what I'm feeling right now, deep inside my heart. I'm actually missing

you alot. But, I know you're doing fine up there. I accept the fact why you "leave" me.

Yes, not only me. Ibu too in fact, everyone that loves you.

It's all fated and someday, I know I'll die too.

There is always a space in my heart, only for you. I miss you and, rest in peace.

18/03/2010 - Every date has a story.

Well, it seems that nowadays I've been too lazy to blog.

It's because, there's been exams since the last week. And, I'm going through another 3 more papers. Oh god, this is what happens when you don't really study hard.

I just hope I pass but, NOT with flying colours.

And oh, how I wish I could say to everyone this right at their face when they need my help.

"Excuse me, I need a break from everything.

Find somebody else."

How I wish I could ...

XOXO, Feeza.

2010-04-30T21:28:00.000-07:00

"I am really sorry. I mean it." - Zairul.

I made a huge mistake, I really didn't mean it.

I was with my my own world. I thought it was not really happening.

But, when I think back in the morning, I was already wide awake, I was at fault.

I feel real guilty. It was a worst nightmare to do that.

I kick, I shout, I disregard you. You were saying sorry & please.

But, I didn't realise that. Zairul, forgive me. Please don't be upset.

Don't because of small issues, we break apart. You're my bestfriend that I could rely on.

You know I was not being myself. Maybe, it was really a dream Feeza?

But, I don't know. I'm sorry Zairul if it really happens.

I'm really am. ;'(

[ I'm just waiting for you to come home. ]

2010-04-27T01:57:00.000-07:00

2010-04-26T02:34:00.000-07:00

Random

Finally, I move on.

Anyways, Zairul have been leaving with me for quite some time.
But, problem starts to occur one by one. I feel sad for him, at the same time I can't do anything.

Family and friend? Which comes first? Obviously, family.

But, I'm trying to help you at the same time Zai. Please, sometimes you must not be so Degil okay? Heh. Okay, we will go trough everything together.

So, don;t ever think your alone. I love you, bestfr. :)

And, guess what?

They came back in one shot. - only some knows what I mean.

2010-04-23T02:26:00.000-07:00

"I love you for who you are. Just be yourself."

Don't because of someone, you change yourself.

But, it seems you want it that way. You listen to your friends more than me & your own Family.

I couldn't care less but to forget you. Whatever it is, I don't need you anymore.

Take care & hopefully, you'll get what you want.

Thanks for everything, our past will always be in my memories.

Love, Feeza.

2010-04-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

TIME CHECK: 4.19AM

Well, currently at David's crib.

Suppose to ton, but it seems I'm the only one who is wide awake.

Yang lain semue tido. Alamak, sot je. -.-

Bebual semangat suroh orang ton, tapi at last tido. Walanneh.

Takpetakpe, sabar. Penat pasal dah mabok. -.-

Nasib baek nary ako good girl, tak minom! Heh, susah datang siul. :P

Okay, let's update about the last few days.

Wednesday;

Dino texted me about his crew performing at CWP. Train down to Woodlands together with Zairul and reached at 8pm. Cakap start kul 8 tapi, .... Biaser, it is always being delayed by other performances. Met Dino for lil while, and off to lepak place. Met Ezaa, Lily, Wany, Takim and Fir. Then, came Dino and his crew. Not all of them. Leypak till the last train. Went home together with Zairul, Alyv and *iforgethename.*

Thursday & Friday;

TON.

Alamak, I'm changing back to the old Feeza sia. :(

Haiyoh, takkan punyerh lah! Heh, okay lahs. Wanna chat lah.

Same, *teman istimewa. :)

2010-04-09T03:51:00.000-07:00

This is for you Zairul. (: I love you, bestfr.

Aniway, I cut my hair. Mcm chibyeeeee kan! Lagy-lagy muka ako tgh sakit.

:( Sedehyyyy. Hais.

2010-04-06T20:17:00.000-07:00

Sore Throat. Fever. Headache.

It's killing me.

I know my blog is getting boring. Well, i'm just too lazy to post anything.

So, for the mean time, I won't post anything after this post.

Thought of changing blog to onsugar or tumblr? Or, ...

Mcm-mcm eih ako niyh! Heg heg.

Anyway, yesterday I went studying with cousin, Zul and Afai.

Susah datang siul dngr kiterh blaja! Lagy-lagy ako! ;D

Ddah, stay tune for my next post which I don't know when.

Toodles!

2010-04-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

I just want you to know that,

you are the only one in my heart.

I miss you.

2010-04-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

Proper Update.

Like, finally.

Aiseyhman, it's been so long since I update. Was too busy with my own things and,

too lazy to update also. Blogger? Asal lah mcm taik! Thought of doing onsugar or tumblr.

But, malasssss~ Hehe. ^^ Nevermind, back on track.

First things first, Family.

Why must it be this way? When I think back, I can't put the things I wanted it to be.

Cause, it's an adult's matter not mine. Just mind my own business. But, when I'm close with mama, papa jealous. With papa, mama jealous. What the hell? I'm trying to balance my time for you both and please, understand me also. I'm not a small kid. Stop manipulating my mind with your talks. Cause you both know why? It won't work. -.-

Hatred leads to nothing, it won't give me any satisfation or happiness. It will give me more headache, y'know. Despite your talks, you guys make me confuse too.

Follow mama or papa? None, boleh? Ishk.

Anyway, things between me and cousin, well it's random.

Nevermind, go with the flow je. Asalkan tak kacao ako, ako tak kacao die! :D

Friends

I learnt that everyone is wearing social masks. Two-faces. Well, i don't care.

As long as, I'm being truthful and sincere. I'm no where at the losing point. :)

For now, I'm thankful to have such wonderful friends. Never judge them. They're good companies and fun to be around. Especially, my school friends which i'm-quite-close-with.

Not only me, mama and abang too. Street people? Well, I found out my true friend already. I'm happy being around with them. Friends, hope our friendship will never end. And, takmor kawan makan kawan ah kay! ;D

Davidddddddddddd!

Mel Kechyqq. Bebelle Gendut. Sheeqeen Dementia.

Zairul Karma. Zul Jo. Fawwaz. Pravin BR. Epul Wazuka. Ezaq.

Rudy My Jiwer. Amin. Arep. Afiq. Fendi. Shazwan.

Myself

As for me now, I just can't be bother to think about problems.

I want to take things easy. Life is actually simple, but everyone is making it difficult.

I'm stronger than I thought to overcome those things. Cheyy, fake.

May god bless all, amin. :)

2010-04-01T03:07:00.000-07:00

Currently, at street soccer using Arep's lappy.

With Mel Bby, Amin, Afiq and Fendi.

So the mendak. Ddah bynk budak mepek leypak kat tempat kite.

Mcm sial kans? Tawo!

Well, I have not been coming to school lately.

Next week boleh pergy what! Heh, okok.

For more fun, go to mel's blog. :)

Bye. :D

2010-03-10T01:21:00.000-08:00

Find Me At FaceBook.

2010-03-06T23:00:00.000-08:00

Thursday Night- SSC giant.

How cute can the guys be? Very when it comes to shopping for food.

-.-

After Shopping and took satay from Shikin.

Belle accompany me while waiting for mama.

Friday.

BBQ with classmates, teachers ft. mama & abg. ;D

I'm happy that everyone can get along with mama and abg.

And, the cute thing is everyone call mama, "mama" even Kevin. (:

Abg help to bbq with Zul and Fawwaz.

It was too fun to forget yesterday. (:

Let's make another one again! :D

2010-03-04T22:50:00.000-08:00

Today is girlfriend's birthday.

I hope you're safe and sound inside. Takecr of your, _____.

Know what's right and wrong, babe.

If you know that, you wouldn't be like this. But, as long as you're happy,

I'm happy for you.

Love, feeza.

2010-03-03T02:35:00.000-08:00

Only god knows, how much I miss my bestfriend.

I love you.

Meet me soon, I wanna get drunk.

Tmr gonna go Giant!

2010-03-02T02:32:00.000-08:00

Pravin. Belle. Fawwaz. Zulkiflly.

Thanks for comforting me.

You guys know my situation, thanks love.

Yea, i'm surrounded with great peeps which is YOU guys.

2010-02-28T07:37:00.000-08:00

Saturday, not-well-plan.

-_-

Firstly, I must apologise to Pravin, Fairuz and Amir. Seriously, I must go that time.

Well, plan to Sentosa was all cock-ed up since, Belle text me late-r and some peeps asked me out.

Interchange>Wdlands>Novena>City hall>Penin>River side>Steps

Then, I headed to somewhere else. Sorry guys.

Meet other time, David, Fai and Amir. Takecr. (:

2010-02-26T20:51:00.000-08:00

Green Live Concert was *thumbs up.

Pictures with Belle, Sudhir and others.

I got to go off early cors, ____ was waiting. Sorry, friends.

PS: Like lazy want to go Sentosa tomorrow. :D

2010-02-23T20:29:00.000-08:00

Tuesday is my day. Study day. Yes, we study.

Went study with Belle at Macd. Urgh, seriously. I kena shout by Belle for like 1546522054 times. Musi btol. But thanks to Belle lah kay, for teaching me my maths and chem.

So, half way through it, I made a new friend with Torn PitPit while Belle was talking with APEEZ. Saw Elly and hug her. (: It's been a long time since I saw her.

Anyway, Khairi was suppose to come at 8pm but, in the he was late. 9pm he cam with Tib.

They came down for a lil while only to pass Belle's bouquet of ferrero "flowers." Sweet kan.

Then, it came to the sour end. Belle is so bastard.

Lol, kay. I know. She knows. Others know. He don't know?

Shruggs. I miss S. a lot. :'(

2010-02-19T00:49:00.000-08:00

Bangla Rapist A.K.A Pravin Raj.

My full time good friend. Although we seems not close, this year we are.

We fight and insult each other everyday because that is his hobby.

Because why? Bangla what! Indian mahhhhh! Haha,

Anyway, pravin I just want to tell you how much you have teach me. "Friendship that will last."

I love my BANGLA. <3

Jongang A.K.A Zulkiflly.

Well, we both make the right decision. To leave the old stupid shits we've done before

and begin a new life. Like for example, friends? Bukan luper member kan zul? Just don't want to be _______ like before. Anyway, Zul! Thanks for being my good friend since SEC 1.

I know you love me, cause I love you too. :P

GENDUT A.K.A Belle.

Well, this minachi get excited when I say I blog aboout her. Nehmind, biar dhierh excited sendiri. Hah.

Belle, thanks for accompanying me nowadays. Really appreciate it, so kechohrable. And, sorry for judging you before. At least I confess what last time I DONT LIKE YOU! ^^

But now, things have change. We're friends kan? And, ako tawo kao pon sayang ako.

Haha! Ako sayang kao lah kay. (:

Wish you good luck with Khairi/Sham. Must MOVE ON lah Belle!

PS: Belle loves Leopord prints. Keh, lame.

Fatin ; Sorry about this morning, I really don't know. Terribly sorry. *Ketuk my own head!

& , friends that I did not mention, I love you guys too.

K dah, bye!

2010-02-18T00:30:00.000-08:00

I'm terribly sad for someone's act.

Yea, I guess she wants to move on by her own self. There's no way I can stop neither to help her out again. Cause, she believes in what she hears. I'm sorry for you cause why? You fall for one lies than getting the facts right. Whatever it is, I'll pray hard for her to be happy always.

Bye, babe.

Anyway in school, someone is really getting on my nerves. Not only me, the whole class excluding the chinese. Damn, her. What a mouth?! Cannot shut up is it? Need to complaint. Sucha kiddo' siol. Ohh, showing that you're such a good girl, huh? Never make noise, do work and keep quiet? Please lah, stop being so "gedik!" Can or not? Complaint neverminds uh; make stories about people some more. Go uh! Make a record for your own that who fights most with your bloody fucking mouth! Lucky, alfeeq, epul and me settle already. Next who? Pravin? Belle? CB! Want to make me having many haters is it? Get this in your mind I WONT GET NEAR TO YOU! I won't even speak up to an idiot like you. Cause why? You're such a dog. Danger sia kao peyh mulot! Eh makcik! Just shut the fuck up and don't tell people lies over lies, boleh? You end up in your own hole, bitch! Like today for example. I don't think you feel shameful when the whole class start to insult and point fingers on you. And what? Kao maki mak fawwaz boleh, fawwaz maki mak kao tak boleh? Ohhh, whathell? You think you're such a hotstuff to call your boyfriend for help and stuff? Please lah! Your own dirt, you clean up yourself okay? Don't like today, don't like me?

Hah, asshole. I myself never like you. And, I hate you more than I hate others.

Just get this in your bloody fucking head.

This is for you "R!"

STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS LIKE YOU SHOULD DIE!

MAK KAO PEYH MAK PEYH MAK PEYH MAK PEYH MAK PEYH PUKI UHHH!

GHY MAKAN TAIK BODOH KAO!

I love my BANGLA RAPIST. I LOVE MY JONGANG!

I LOVE MY GENDUT! I LOVE ALL.

Dedications at next post.<3

2010-02-08T06:24:00.000-08:00

TIPSY.

Give me 1 MONTH. &, I'll show you boys what's karma.

Bye.

2010-02-05T18:06:00.000-08:00

Well, this post is mainly for N.

For goodness sake, you think I spit out your darkess secret?

So, now I know you believe R than me. Let me put it this way.

If you think I were to tell R, that ask her how I tell her.

Might as well, I tell R from A-Z than just saying _______. Please lah, anyone can say anyhow.

It's the matter of you want to believe it or not.

But, I guess you're too naive to believe her. Get you facts right.

Dissapointed and just study hard lar, babe.

2010-02-05T06:19:00.000-08:00

*Old Picture*

I don't know what picture to put. But, I think this is cool.

Kay, whatever. Don't mind uh, Dementia.

"Minus one, Plus two."

Anyway, feeza is missing Mel bby a lot. :(

2010-02-02T06:02:00.000-08:00

And, I don't really know what the hell I'm doing.

I could be walking down the street and if a guy notices me, then you get upset.

But, if i'm walking with you holding hands and kissing, everybody could see what that means.

Should I wear a sign? That says don't look at me.

You're stuck in my head still. But,

I just don't love you no more.

2010-01-31T13:31:00.000-08:00

Special Someone;

Tell me what's wrong. How can I understand you if you can never be understand.

You think I'm hypocrite? Well, I'm not.

More than words that I've shown. But, you never seen that before. You pretend being blind.

Yes, I was too gullible to listen to your friend's stories. But, it have happen before. It did happen before. So, was that a lie? You're scared to be in a r/s cors of this.

Lemme tell you this, I'm not your TOYFRIEND.

I don't wanna get hurt nor being use too. So, don't think it's only you who is worried.

Now, I'm asking you back. "Who is hypocrite? Me or you?"

- I know you'll be reading this.

But guess what, I give up. Your words are all cheap that doesn't prove me anything.

Promises and stuffs? Ohh, damn. It's just useless.

Don't like my friends as they're guys then, back off. I never slack at ST anymore, cors of you.

Still, you say I'm still with my other guy friends. Come on, dude. This is 2010, nothing's wrong being social. Don't tell me another lie that you don't have girl friends.

Such a waste. -_____-

Straight to the point: For now, I don't have the thought to continue.

Let's end here, okay?

Kay, I'm down.

2010-01-30T13:11:00.000-08:00

Somehow, I miss Street.

I want to slack again. But, not now. Miss them.

How? ):

2010-01-28T21:25:00.000-08:00

Yesteday, went CWP. Meet my anak babi. Pundek he buwad prangai.
Bapak dhierh siao uhhh. Kpala puki kao uhh! Geram ako!
Then, jumperh Belle Gendut to slack together with Sham & Talib till night.
Library and Pasar malam then headed home. Reached home at 10pm.
One word for that day: "Damn."

Going out soon. Now with Pravin and Zul at my crib.
Smokesmoke & LekLek. :P
Bye, pukimaks.

2010-01-27T22:13:00.000-08:00

(L) Jesus

Anyway, I just got back from school. School was tiring for me today.

As usual, I always go to school with Bestfriend Pravin. But, I always kept him waiting.

I'm sorry, gundu head. When we were otw to the hall, saw Belle. Went up together and salam everyone. Lessons? Don't mention it. I swear my brain was wanting to burst. That was school.

Anyway, I got to finish up my D&T coursework by today. Only 3 parts lars. Gonna be busy like a bee today. Now, I'm waiting for Pravin to come back from school then, I'm off meeting mummy then, to Town? Maybe, want to buy some stuffs. With, Zairul and Yidah.

2010-01-26T04:49:00.000-08:00

Hello, people.

I just got the photos from Belle's blog. This was yesterday picture.

Actually our plan was to go Tamp but due to some issues, we have to re-plan.

Plan to just STUDY at Belle's crib. Yea, don't mind since I was bored and need to finish up some math's questions. Obviously, we crap, laugh, gossip, chit-chat, camwhore and STUDY.

I repeat, "STUDY!" Got evidence, okay! See-see! :P

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, that was yesterday. Anyway, today school was quite a bore. Seriously, I was half dead in school. I was controlling my mood. If not, I will just get angry with anyone for no reason. That's moodswing. But, I guess Nana knew that I was not okay cause, I can see by her face. Two-words for school today : Fuck-ed up! Oh, god. Lucky, my afternoon was okay! I went to meet mummy at her work place to have lunch with her since she's having break. So, talk talk with mummy and decided to go Causeway to shop! Obviously, not alone lars! Omg. I pampered myself today with lots of sales today. :P Bought 5 tops from cotton on for only $28. Went to PINC to get 2 Nail polish for only $8. Bought those leopard prints and zebra patterns for only $30. All were sales! I'm so lucky today. Haha, okay. I wanna knock off to bed now. Superb tired. Nights, love.

2010-01-23T18:56:00.000-08:00

Above was Wednesday pictures in school, free period.

I know, sick faces. But, who cares? In school, who want to see.

Anyway, before I forget.

Happy 16th birthday to Fatin. Although we're not close, but we're just friends.

Fatin, I hope you enjoy your day today. And, wish you success in whatever you do in the future.

God bless you.

Maybe, meeting Mamat first then, Nana Paranoia.

It's been 12345646 days since I saw them. Getting ready now.

Will make a proper update, soon. Loves. (:

2010-01-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

Oh god, help me to overcome my emotions.

I can't help it to see the way he is with her. It's right in front of my eyes.

He still can lie about it and tell tales with me.

I'm too disappointed to control myself. Why must this be a repeatation in my life?

What have I done went wrong? I never hurt guys like how they did.

For the fact, I will just forgive and forget. But, why must things happen this way again?

I'm sad, really sad. )':

I was putting hope on you too much or, ...

Just leave me alone. &, stop giving me those smiles and stuffs.

Cause, you know what? It won't work for you to get my feelings back no more.

Quote for the day: "No man, no cry."

2010-01-20T07:04:00.000-08:00

Give Me A Break.

Seriously, I need to drink.

Well, conflicts between bby and I are done. We're in good terms already.

The first thing when I met b was , I hug b tightly. Don't want to let go.

Bby, I hope you still remember our promises. You know I love you so much, right?

Promise me you won't fight with me again. Promise me you'll never do whatever I don't like.

Lastly, promise me that you wont break your promise. Kay, sayang.

Above is specially for my Bby GIRL, Camelia.

ILY.

Well, let's post about school today. Seriously, today is a very sway day for me.

I was considered late for school as I was not in the hall on time while I was actually at the school toilet 10 mins before time. So, tomorrow I have to report to Mr Lee at 7am. Got back to class after hearing his instructions. Guess what? Another bad luck. The whole class got scolding from him as there was this yesterday incident involving one of our classmate. We got to stand up and write reflections for that whole day without studying. Awesome right? I know.

Whatever it is, I need a break.

Break=Drink.

Tomorrow is the day. Goodnight, love.

2010-01-19T08:47:00.000-08:00

This was our last-free period at school today. I know you guys won't find it funny but, seriously if you were there, you can see those faces and reactions. You can hear me laughing at the background and shaking when taking their video. There's one part they just kept quiet and stare. -_-

Well, now I'm currently chatting with Epul Rabun. Pig laa, you.

2010-01-18T08:32:00.000-08:00

I know, three words. What the hell?

Abandon babies. Omg. So, kesian sakk. Basically, I was browsing my tagged comments. And, I saw this. Should an innocent baby being treated like this? Pity them. So , unfortunate.

Anyway, today it was another school day.

Almost the the whole day at school was my free period as Mr Lee was not in school.
Just joking around with friends and chit-chatting with Belle. Sharing stories which

was too confusing to understand. I swear.

Well, I'm off soon. Pravin is waiting for me outside my crib.

Going to Broadway then, he's meeting his friends while I meet my friends.

If he knows I was blogging, I'm dead. Nehh, fake only. Bye , love.

2010-01-17T07:59:00.000-08:00

Presenting...

Zairul's Stupid Face.
Brother's Pathetic Face.
My Shit Face.

Wake up in the morning with disturbance. A lovely friend of mine keep on calling and shouting at me to wake up. Isn't that awesome? Thanks, Zairul. It was annoying as he kept on reapeting the same line. For that, I woke up with a dumb face and just smiled. Pretend I heard nothing that he didn't disturb me at all. It was beacause he need my company to TTSH as he was not feeling very well. Pity him. We showered and get ourselves ready. As usual when I'm out with my best friend, we will talk and crap non-stop. So reached TTSH, got him registered and consulted. Called mummy as we're done. We went out together with mummy, brother and auntie to Bedok Corner to have our lunch. There was too much food to eat. In the end, I felt like I was overstuffed. (Damn full.) Then, off to Changi Airport send auntie off to work and went to East Coast Park to chill, by then it was already evening. Mummy and brother stayed in the car while Zai and I went to relax at the side of the beach. With the wind blowing and the smell of it, I felt really calm. It makes me flashback my past. Lucky there was my best friend to comfort me. When clock ticks 9pm, it was time for us to get our butts off and get home. Send Zai to Tanjong Pagar MRT station and got me back to my home sweet home.

Anyway, brother told me a joke.

"When a cat falls into the river, how would the rooster react?"
Answer: When there is a wet pussy, there will always be a happy cock nearby.

Get it? Hah, okay lame. I know. Nights, love.

2010-01-16T10:38:00.000-08:00

Hello , shit faces.

A kiss from a friend at my hair. -_-

Yea , fuck you. Fuck you v v much.

I know.

My Saturday was quite okay. It's not well plan , you see.

It's all a last minute plan. All my plan were cock up when I found out that my wallet

was not with me. How dumb can I be? I left it with my mum yesterday.

Thanks to that , all was delay-ed. But , luckily I got some cash in hand.

And , instead of going with my Tipsy Clan whom I suppose to go out with today at Sentosa ,

I went out with one of my closest friend , mummy and brother.

To where? Hell. Only god knows how my ear suffers at there.

I swear , people. Okay , above are just random pictures. So yea , don't over think too much.

I know , some chicken-brains will.

Alright , I think I should end off now. Zai k-po , nak pakai comp. Nehh , joking.

He's at my crib and we're gonna talk and crap till we're knock off dead to SLEEP.

Goodnight and Sweetdreams. (:

Oh , I just remember.

To that lame old shit guy , when you have a girlfriend , stop flirting around!

This is a piece of advice , please don't be a damn flirtatious dog.

Thank you , cause you're fooling girl's heart which I won't ever fall for it.

*WINKS.

2010-01-14T21:45:00.000-08:00

13th To 15th January.

Level camps , which doesn't looks like a camp to me.

From 7.45am to 9pm at school. Gonna have butt cramps soon , I think.

Due to sitting at MPH for 12hours. Hah , record huh?

Well , first day was alright. Thought it would be boring but , no.

My day was filled with laughters , obviously , not only MY day , others too.

The trainers were quite funny and outgoing. As the prog has ended , I went to YP

together with Alfeeq , Fai , Zul and Saiful. Then , half an hour later , Saiful and I decided to

go back home as we're tired. Having Saiful to accompany me to the Traffic Light. Thanks , love.

Then , off home sweet home.

14th Jan , which is today.

It's early in the morning , now with Pravin at my crib.

We're going to school together , we're going off at 8am.

So , yea. Hope today won't be a boring day.

2010-01-12T09:52:00.000-08:00

My dad is my hero.

But , today is the day that I feel like shooting myself right at my head with a gun.

I was disappointed with myself and keep making self-accusation.

What was I thinking? I made a sin to my own dad. The one that always love me and put hope on

me is the one that I go against with now. Being rebel and disrespectful. I was full of regrets.

I was being used , due to my stupidity I was actually making a big mistake which I myself couldn't forgive myself. Why in the world must there be such human beings? Two-faces.

Why does she pressure me while she knows that I'm easily influence. Too naive. She is

someone important in my life too. But , why must she do this to me. Because , by you making

me pressure and get polluted with all sorts/kinds of stories , in the end I will get blame.

Like now , my own sister thought that I set it up while I don't know a thing. I got shocked when I know the truth. No one knows my position. They're not in my shoes.

Human beings , they will only Judge A Book By It's Cover. They see what they see.

But in the end , the one who I've sin is the one who help me build my confidence and encourage me. He's the only one who trust me. I feel so ashamed. In the end , I still ask myself why.

"Why is my dad helping me?"

Answer ; Trust.

Everyone makes mistakes but , trust towards each other we must have.

Because , without trust , I don't think I can go through this obstacles.

I promise myself I won't belief everyone 100% , I love you papa.

2010-01-04T09:22:00.000-08:00

All Eyes On Me , boy.

Oh yes , I still remember the day you told me this.

" I will always be there for you no matter what. "

But guess what? Those words were all cheap. (:

Hey Monday. The first day of the week of 2010 , welcome back to school.

I get enthusiastic as I can't wait to know what's up for school. It's a brand new year , still "fresh."

Hahs. Knowing that my class is special and so as , wanting to meet my

long-time-no-meet friends. Only god knows how much I miss them.

Give most people a hug. Obviously when friends meet freinds , sharing stories and catching up

is a MUST! Well , although school ends really late , at least I had fun.

At least , I wasn't bored even if it was boring cause , I have friends to keep me accompany.

Well , I know this blog is new.

Will update often if I'm not lazy or busy. Have a great time at school , others. (:

2010-01-01T07:16:00.000-08:00

To all Family & Friends ;

Happy New Year , dearest.

May you have a brighter future ahead of you guys.

Wish you success in whatever you do. Always have fun and enjoy.

May less obstacles that you guys will face.

Here's to the future , cause I know we're done with the past.

*Cheers.

Sentosa with awesome people.

Current and new friends. Peace , love and party!

Drink. Drank. Drunk.

Call me crazy but , I enjoy getting tipsy.

New Blog , New Life.

Say hello to 2010.

A new year. A new beginning.

God bless , all.

XOXO , feeza.